An unexpected pregnancy may have you feeling all kinds of things – fear, frustration, anxiety, confusion, anger… If you weren’t expecting this, you may feel overwhelmed by this news. That’s ok. It’s totally normal to feel that way.
It’s important to know you’re not alone. It’s estimated that approximately 40% (or more) of pregnancies in the United States are unintended. [1] Furthermore, you don’t have to walk through this alone. PLL is here to offer a safe, confidential place where you can be heard, ask questions, and gather info about all of your options so you can make the decision that’s right for you.
We know that sharing this information with your parents (or other loved ones) can be a difficult task, and we’re here to help you through that, as well. Here are some tips for telling your parents you’re pregnant.
Step 1: Prepare Yourself
If this conversation seems daunting to you, you may feel better about it if you go into it feeling prepared. Try the following:
- Confirm your pregnancy with a medical-grade pregnancy test. (We do that for free here at PLL. You can schedule an appointment)
- Process your emotions. You may want to journal, chat with a close friend, or talk to a mentor. We have staff here that will have a confidential conversation with you to help you through this (this is also free!).
- Gather facts. Feelings are important, but so are facts. Having information such as an estimated due date, health considerations, and facts about your options and all the risks involved may help you to think through things more clearly. And – you guessed it – we can help with all of that, too (also free!).
Step 2: Choosing Where and When to Talk
Choosing the right time and place to have this conversation can make a big difference in how the conversation goes. Try to avoid having this conversation during especially stressed, busy, or rushed times. Instead, choose a time when you’ll have privacy and plenty of time to talk without interruptions. Ideally, this will happen in person in a calm and comfortable environment. The goal is to create a safe and calm space for a two-way conversation to happen. If you need help thinking this through, our staff is here to chat with you and help guide you!
Step 3: Preparing for Their Reaction
Your parents will likely have big feelings about this – just like you did. That’s ok, and it’s expected. You can’t predict how they’ll handle those feelings, but knowing what some of their concerns might be before you have this conversation may help you be better prepared to respond to them. Some common parental concerns in this situation include:
- Your education and career plans
- The father and if he’ll be involved
- Your finances
Even if they’re ultimately supportive, your parents may need some time to process all of this information. They may come around eventually and be supportive even if their initial reaction is shock, anger, disappointment, etc.
Step 4: Having the Conversation
The Aurora Center for Advocacy and Education [2] recommends you begin a tough conversation by inviting the other person(s) to talk instead of just dropping heavy news on them unexpectedly. An example of this could be, “There’s something I’d like to talk with you about. Is this a good time?” rather than, “Hey guys, I’m pregnant.”
They also suggest agreeing to allow each other to speak without interrupting one another. This can be difficult, but it can be helpful in making each other feel respected and heard. (If your home is an unsafe environment, this may not be the right route for you, or you may consider bringing a trusted adult to help you through this conversation.)
Step 5: The Next Steps
Having this conversation is difficult – be proud of yourself for getting through it! Your next steps include prioritizing your health and becoming informed to make the decisions that are ahead of you. At PLL, we’re here to help you through every step of that process.
Even if your family isn’t supportive, you don’t have to go through this alone. You can come to PLL alone or with a support person – whatever feels right for you. If your partner would like support, he can come, as well.
The Big Picture
An unexpected pregnancy does not define you. And a difficult conversation with your parents doesn’t define your relationship with your parents (even if it didn’t go well). You have options, and there are a lot of resources available to you to support you along the way.
You don’t have to go through any of this alone. Schedule your free appointment today. Our services are always free, confidential, and non-judgmental.
Disclaimer: This website and blog do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The information provided here is only for general understanding. This information is not a substitute for professional medical advice.
Sources
- Unintended Pregnancy. CDC Reproductive Health. (n.d.) https://www.cdc.gov/reproductive-health/hcp/unintended-pregnancy/index.html
- Difficult Conversations with Someone You Care About. Aurora Center for Advocacy and Education – University of Minnesota. (n.d.) https://aurora.umn.edu/sites/aurora.umn.edu/files/files/general/difficult_conversations.pdf